Sitting in a café off 7th Avenue in Manhattan, I’m reminded of one of the simple pleasures I loved about living in this city: watching the world pass by with a well-made coffee in hand.
This trip, like many moments this year, has drawn my mind back to the idea of choice.
Some of us perceive life as partially within our control; others feel it happens to them, good or bad. I believe both views are valid and, ultimately, a matter of perspective. When I choose to see the Universe as benevolent, abundant, and magical, it often reflects that belief in both large and small ways.
Yet, as I approach my 40th birthday, I recognize this hasn’t always been my default lens. For much of my adult life, especially in my twenties and early thirties, I felt trapped by scarcity and systemic unfairness. Life seemed like a zero-sum game, and I was perpetually losing. Unsurprisingly, my circumstances often reinforced this narrative.
Things began to shift a few years ago, sparked by another trip to New York. After leaving the city for Texas during COVID, I found myself struggling with what to do with my last company. During this time, an advisor introduced me to the concept of surrendering to outcomes. For someone who had white-knuckled through life since my early teens, the idea was foreign and difficult to embrace. But I was exhausted, depleted to the point of having no fight left, so I began to let go.
As a bibliophile, I turned to books—devouring works on letting go, surrendering, and ‘surfing’ through reality. Though some were hokey, their core truths resonated: in life, we get to choose.
Since that realization, my life and my enjoyment of it have transformed. By choosing to surrender and trust, even without guarantees, I experienced profound changes over a span of 24-36 months:
- I was offered a fantastic role at a former competitor, providing the mental and financial buffer to reassess my professional goals.
- My company, Avra, sold to a great acquirer during one of the toughest periods for recruiting firms.
- I joined a fund that has deepened my understanding of the financial side of business, filling a critical gap in my entrepreneurial toolkit.
- The ‘prickliness’ that colored many of my adult relationships softened, allowing me to connect more genuinely—whether with a barista or a romantic partner.
Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up; it means choosing trust over control, faith over fear. The world reflects the stories we tell ourselves, and the narrative of abundance and flow has been the most rewarding shift I’ve made. Sitting here with my coffee, I’m grateful for both the journey and the clarity it has brought.